Saturday, February 16, 2013

Mom, Woman of Faith 2-16

Welcome back to "Mom: Woman of Faith".  Each Saturday a group of moms respond to a question essential to our lives as Christians and Mothers.  It is our hope that this series will spark reflection and growth for all those involved.  Please feel free to add your thoughts here or on facebook.

This week's Question:
What does it mean to be a Christian Wife?


Simply put, being a Christian wife means partnering in the work toward achieving a Christian Marriage and Christian Family.  My husband and I took having Christ as a part of our relationship very seriously, even when we were first dating.  We strove for purity in the early part of our relationship and now that we are married we are committed to fidelity and true vulnerability with each other, things we can only achieve through Christ.  Although not perfect we pray together every night and are working to instill the faith in our young children.  It is our constant goal to keep Christ as the third person in our marriage.

Honestly, I don't understand how marriage works without Christ--or how someone who is not Christian could be a wife.  Marriage is hard work!  Not matter how cute, or funny, or sensitive or charming my husband is, being a Christian wife still require a major death to self.  I no longer live just for myself.  On our wedding day my husband and I became one, and I must always keep that in mind when I made decisions, big and small.

Finally, being a Christian wife means surrendering.  I surrender to not only the will of my husband (because I know this is the correct order, and I know that he will act out of love), but I also surrender to the Lord.  I really struggle relinquishing control, but I know that I will only find joy if I submit to the will of my husband, and the will of the Lord, who both love me more than I can understand.


A Christian wife is a woman who takes seriously her role to be a Help Meet to her husband.  Rather than attempting to control or compete with her husband, a Christian wife will seek to compliment and complete her husband, realizing that they are more valuable as a team!

If a woman wants to know what a Christian wife looks like, she should flip to the heart of her Bible and settle in with Proverbs 31:10-31, that infamous passage depicting the virtuous wife. This glimpse into her life gives a timeless picture of what it means to be a Christian wife.

First of all, because of her faithfulness to her husband and all her responsibilities, we learn that the heart of her husband safely trusts in her, and that she will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Because her husband is confident of her ability to manage his household well, he is free to concentrate on his calling, and thus he is “known in the gates,” which means he is a leader in the community. I love the fact that she is not competing with him “in the gates,” but is content to concentrate her creative energies in the home.

She is a diligent worker, which is evidenced by the fact that she works willingly with her hands, rises early to provide food for her household, and looks well to the ways of her household, rather than wasting time in idleness or filling her life with vain pursuits.
She plans ahead and prepares for the future.  She is resourceful and frugal, shopping around for the best deals, and she invests her savings wisely. She uses some of her skills to pursue a home business. 

Even though she is focused on the needs of her husband and her family, she is not blind to the needs outside of her home, which is evidenced by the fact that she is generous and compassionate and reaches out to the poor and needy.
Even though she makes beautiful clothes for herself and is well-dressed (in “silk and purple”), her beauty is not based on her outward appearance or charm, but stems from the inner beauty of a woman who fears the Lord. Therefore, she grows more beautiful with the passing of time, and her husband and children rise up and bless her and her own works praise her in the gates!


For me, being a Christian wife means so many things. It's about loving my husband, respecting him, taking care of him, helping him make decisions, and praying for him daily. Like the Proverbs 31 woman, I too want to bring good to my husband everyday. My husband and I work as a team. Together we make mutual decisions about running our household and raising our children. But I respect him when we have different opinions and love him despite our differences. Ultimately, I want to be a wife that cherishes & loves my husband, like Christ loves us. 


Being a Christian wife has been my goal for the last 34 ½ years, but I have a long way to go on this journey of LIFE and LOVE.  There are good days and not so good days, but always days in which I can grow more loving and giving to my husband.  My husband is the head of our house – just as Jesus is the head of his Church.  There have been times in our marriage that he has given me strong direction, it turns out to be the right thing for me.  With 3 of my daughters now married  - I am learning some lessons on love and obedience from them.  My oldest shares that all communication with your spouse should be life-giving, and that is something that I really need to work on.  All 3 daughters are very selfless when it comes to serving their husbands and children.  I know that humility is so important for a Christian wife to make the best of her marriage!  Even my daughter, Little Sister Hallel, who is a religious nun, has shared some beautiful insights with her sisters that are married – reminding us that our spouses are to be our Most Cherished Cross.  Telling us that we are called to embrace our Cross, and not run away from it because it hurts.  Through embracing our spouse/Most Cherished Cross we allow LIFE and LOVE to enter our domestic church/family, and find true and lasting happiness!  I am, with the help of my daughters, striving to be a better Christian wife…it is a never ending journey, and only possible with Christ at my side!

And now it's your turn.  Tell us your thoughts, or comment on what we've shared. 

For next week's question click here.

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