I'm Free!

Happy 4th of July!

Ahhh the joy of fireworks, friends and freedom...

I spent most of the day relaxing, cleaning and being alone in solitude... but that gets old after awhile. Yesterday I was so busy! Lunch with my aunt Sandy at PF Changs (yummy jioazi!) then dinner at Krua Thai with Jeanelle (yum and Jeanelle you are a sweetheart!) and then late night Badminton with Kyle & Kelly. Good Times!

So after spending part of the day alone, you would think that would be OK by me.. but I actually was anxious to be with people again! How can that be? Little ol' introverted hermit crab Sabrina coming out of her shell??? WOAH (say it like Joey from Blossom!)

Thankfully Tabitha came over and we chatted for awhile and she brought over some really delicious cookies! We met up with Sarah, Ellen, Mark & Bonnie at TGI Fridays before fireworks. I love when people who have never met can sit and eat a meal and talk and share parts of their lives... Maybe I just love to hear other's stories and where they were in life and how they got to where they currently are. For example, I knew Mark back when he was just getting his life together and finding Jesus... and I have seen how he has grown leaps and bounds in his faith... and now he is on his way to Seminary! God has been faithful to Mark!

The same goes for so many people in my life. It's just a beautiful process to witness... Freedom!

Hopefully, I am on my way too... Although I have a long road ahead of me, I have grace matching me step for step.

I love the book "Hinds Feet on High Places" by Hannah Hurnard... it's as if she is writing about me, my life and my journey! Love it!

The main character comes to a point on her journey where she can begin to see her life changing and this is what she says:

"...and she knew within herself that with that acceptance a gulf had opened between herself and her past life, even between her past self; a gulf which could never again be closed...

...and she said to herself, "I was that woman, but I am not that woman now."

Well it's a good thing that God has never given up on me, and he never will! PTL!

Haimisheh Mensch

Day 3.... I'm seriously loving this not having to go to work thing i got going on! Last summer i was between jobs and I wasn't working... but i was kinda a hermit and didn't do much and I only hung out with my boyfriend... now I am blessed with wonderful friends and fun things to do!

Last night at my small group it was fun to sit and chat and have real conversations with real people. But at the same time, I am in constantly reminded of the pain people carry around. For so many people in my life, there are hurts, sickness, pain, disappointments, loneliness, sorrow and everything else in between... I so wish and pray that there wouldn't be sadness and pain in this life. I hate to see people suffer, heck I hate to suffer... but truthfully, I find the ones who are the most compassionate, who are beautiful in character are the ones who have gone through pain. Of course it is easy to get bitter and angry with the hurt and then to get stuck in that... but for those who can embrace the hurt, are the ones who triumph the most.

When I say that God is good, I am not being cliche... or trite... The Lord is good! In every way possible... even in the midst of sorrow... He is there.

Hope, wait and trust... blessings are on the way...

Or as my friend Ellen said, "a new day, a new cupcake"....

Tomorrow is the 4th of July and I am ready to get my fireworks on!!! ooooh ahhhhh! Truly Truly Truly Outrageous!!!!

Something Shmek Gut!

Awwww... JULY! My beloved month has finally arrived! 31 absolutely wonderful, amazing, and joyful days laid out before me!!
As I sit here the sunshine is already streaming in from my window and I lean my head back and let it engulf me with all it's goodness. I was praying earlier this morning for blessings, not just for myself but for everyone else in my life who needs a blessing, that and a big dose of grace.
I myself, have many questions and uncertainties about my future, and I am always in need of God's grace... ALWAYS! But God is good, and who am I to question?


Well I decided to start this month off by doing some baking and cooking! I am going over to Bonnie & Mark's house tonight for the third night of Connecting the Body fellowship.
I pulled out my trusty Better Homes and Garden's Cookbook and I think I am going to make a Thai Chicken & Nectarine Salad. And for dessert, I am going to make Vanilla Cupcakes with Banana Pastry Cream and Chocolate Frosting! I like it A lot! (Think Dumb & Dumber)



So I sit back and drink my chocolate rice dream w\ bananas and protein powder smoothie, listen to the birds and let the sun shine in... It's going to be a good month!

This is my Happy it's July smile....

Nosh

As it is almost lunch time I am getting rather hungry. And to make matters worse I have been looking at food blogs and now I'm really hungry. There was a posting by this one person:

http://www.travelerslunchbox.com/journal/2006/8/21/calling-all-bloggers-things-to-eat-before-you-die.html

about foods you should try before you die... or at least meals\foods that you love.

I tried to narrow my list down to 5, but I just couldn't do it! So instead I have listed the meals that have left me wanting more... (in no particular order)



1. Paella in Sevilla, Spain

2. Shark n' Bake on Maracas Beach, Trinidad

3. Lacquered Breast of Wild Acres Duck at W.A. Frost & Co. St. Paul, MN

4. Chicken Pad Thai (exxxtra spicy) Sawatdee

5. Jioazi (dumplings) Beijing, China

6. Clam Cakes, Massachusetts

7. Lemon Dowjic Soup & Bread at Babani's Kurdish Restaurant, St. Paul, MN

8. Crepes with Nutella in Paris, France



I know there are a lot more places I love to eat and the great food I have noshed on... but these are the meals that I have enjoyed the mostest! Meow!



On another happy note, today is my last day of work for 1 whole month!!!!!!!

I'm not who I was

I can relate to the lyrics, and I love the transparency of the people in the video.

Hope & Cake

I was thinking about hope & cake this morning. Weird combo right? I don't know why, maybe because I was e-mailing Sarah about something I was thinking about. I was telling her about a verse that I resonate with,
"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." ~Proverbs 13:12
Some people don't take the Proverbs of Soloman too literally, but I think there is wisdom and truth in these little sayings. It is hard when something you hope for is deferred, it does make the heart sad. But then again, maybe it's better to wait? Because then one can appreciate the beauty of a longing fulfilled.
It's like trying to make really good cakes. You hope that you will make the best cake each and every time. But when you decorate a cake and you don't have all the techniques down yet, well your cake just looks a little frumpy and it's very disapointing. But the more you learn and the more patient you are, you eventually can make and decorate a half decent cake. You are the same person, but you just persevered and now you have something you didn't have before.
I guess what I am trying to say is, it is hard to wait, it is hard to have your heart be sick from a deferred hope. But then, how much sweeter will it be when your desires are fulfilled!
God is good.

"Hope abides, therefore I abide. Countless frustrations have not cowed me. I am still alive, vibrant with life. The black cloud will disappear, The morning sun will appear once again In all its supernal glory." ~Sir Chinmoy

Known vs Alone

My couz Kyle was telling me about a book he and my couz Kelly are reading called. “Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am?” by John Powell. And there was this quote that he sent me, “But…if I tell you who I am, you may not like who I am, and it’s all that I have.”



So I have been thinking about that. How real are we? Will anyone like me if I am me being me? Isn't that truly one of our biggest fears? Wanting to be liked\loved for who we are, but what if what we are isn't likeable? We want to be completely known, but then again do we?

The band Waterdeep has lyrics that say, "I don’t think I’ve ever wanted as much To be free as I’ve longed to be known. And of the things that I hate As I look at my life, The worst is my being alone.”

Here lies the conundrum: To truly be known by someone else is a scary process... but if we aren't known, is it more scary to be alone?

Ahhhh... Well hopefully I am as real as I can be even if it's scary... because who knows maybe me being real is just what someone else needs.

Deep thoughts for today, I usually try to keep it light... But Rachel (Hi Rach!) told me to write whatever was on my heart... so there ya go! :) Peace.